Graced.

Today, my uncle's wife (aunt?) wanted to have a small in-home service. Before, we ate jokbal that my aunt had brought from the market, and shared our testimonies. It was so good to hear of her testimony and how God had saved her, the same God that had saved me! It is weird knowing that we are all living for the same God in a different world, in some differing ways. Also, it was refreshing to know that she had lived for the Lord for the past thirty years, and still is fervent for the Lord and his work. She had prayed since her salvation that God would use her life for his glory, and he has. She is currently ministering with my uncle in China.

After I shared my testimony, and of course how much I love Lighthouse. She was so glad to hear that God blessed me with a church that teaches truth and one that disciples. When I began talking about sinful tendencies, she mentioned that I am only 4 years old. She didn't mean for it to degrade me; instead, she wanted share that God has many years to use me, and began to wonder where God would have me in thirty years if I fervently followed Christ. Yes, it has only be four years. Can I give up my life everyday for thirty, fourty, fifty years until I die? Can I do this? I can't. It was encouraging to hear from my aunt that she would often pray in despair when Christ was not central in her life. She would beg that she would live for him. I do not have such strong desires. I have greater tendencies to ask for relief of pain and desires for fun and happiness. Not to say that those things are wrong in itself, but that God should always be central to all things. I have a long run ahead (if I don't die young), and I do hope that day by day, I will grow in my love and understanding of God that will lead to living daily for him. Prior to her statement about my age, I thought that I was fairly mature, and old Christian. However, I realized that I am merely an infant who has much to grow in, and that it is okay to not know all things and be perfect right now. "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." 2 Cor 3:18. God is at work in me, and I must never forget that I am a dependent child of God indefinitely. I don't want to be the stubborn baby who tries to do everything alone and fails miserably.

After, we shared verses that have been a blessing to us, and that was good as well. We also sang hymns together and then my aunt and grandma busted out with a folk-like song with the korean traditional dance. It was like the Bible days where people would sing and dance for the Lord :)
The song went:
(it was the goong-chak-chak goong-chak-chak beat)
예수님이 좋은걸 어떡합니까  What shall I do, I just love Jesus.
예수님이 좋은걸 어떡합니까  What shall I do, I just love Jesus.
세상에 어떤것도 비길수없네  There's nothing in this world that compares.
예수님이 좋은걸 어떡합니까  What shall I do, I just love Jesus.

예수님이 좋은걸 어떡합니까
예수님이 좋은걸 어떡합니까
날위헤 십자가를 지신 예수님 Jesus who bore the cross for me.
예수님이 좋은걸 어떡합니까

Tonight was a blessing :)

Family.

Since I've been in Korea, I have mostly been visiting cousins. Initially, I felt like I was wasting time sitting around at my cousins' places without much to do or eating with them without much to say. It's been 9 whole years since my last visit, and we haven't kept in touch since. But I've realized through many of this "sitting around, eating" business that we're all just comfortable. Though we have not seen each other and barely know the life of the other person, they invite me into their home, feed me, comfortably lay around the home, joke around, link arms, talk about similarities between the family members, and the list goes on. How is this possible? because we are a family. I never really felt the joy of having an extended family bounded by blood. It's a friendship that cannot be broken through time. We are bound to each other, some sort of obligations toward each other during holidays and other occasions. It's great. On top of all of this, they are sacrificial in feeding me, buying me snacks, and with some, allowances :) They give as though they are giving to their own child, there are no limits. I wanted this so badly when I was in America. A family that belonged to me.

While I was pondering this in the car after a family meeting, squished with 8 people in a 5-seater car, I realized... I do have a family in America. A family bounded, not by mere human blood, but by the blood of Christ. Lighthouse is my family. I have mothers, sisters, fathers, and brothers who care so deeply for my eternal well being. They sacrificially give and care for me as though I were their own. Well, there are times where I really wish I were more apart of them, but that's another story. I easily forget they are my family because we do not have the earthly label of being "relatives". It seems as though there should be a barrier of special secrets reserved for the family only - a boundary that cannot be crossed. However, these are all man made concepts of what family is.

Many tell me I'm open with my struggles, and I am because I believe it can ultimately glorify God. But on top of that, who would better care for me than my own family? My mother of Lighthouse knows even the patterns of my sin. She knows when to be gentle and firm, lighthearted and serious, teaching and silent. Not only does she know me and care for me, she gives sacrificially to me as though I were her daughter. She let me stay with her for a summer, free of charge when I was down to my savings (before I got a job), opened her home for study sessions, opened her garage for storage during summers, fed me, and above all, she sacrificed her time when I was suffering. There are countless others who have torn down the earthly "family boundaries" and treated me like a family. Lighthouse family has helped me move, given me furniture, invited me into their home, fed me (always comes up hehe), taught me random life skills, spent hours on photo-shoots, and the list goes on countlessly. Who would do this for free, so sacrificially, with no limits? Hm, maybe some limitations, but only a family would do this.

Sometimes, the special occasions seems more important. Where is my oh-so-desired big family gathering during Thanksgiving and Christmas? I may never get the obligatory family meetings on those special occasions, but why get caught up when I have obligatory family meetings every week with the Lighthouse family?

Promises.

God is a god of promises.

Today, I went to a church nearby my sister's place. This pastor was a little more difficult to understand at times, but moreover my mind was clouded with other things and I was sweating as well. Although my mind was only half there, I did pick up a few things by the grace of God. The pastor spoke about Jehu from 2 Kings 10. Jehu was made king and slaughtered all the worshipers of Baal and it right in God's eyes. As a result of his obedience, Jehu's sons of the fourth generation were able to sit in the throne of Israel. However, Jehu was not careful to walk in the law of the Lord, but continued to worship the golden calf (sins of Jeroboam). As a result, God began to cut off parts of Israel. The pastor spoke on God's will. A common question is "How do we know God's will"? The pastor then said that we can only know God's will when we know God. How do we know God? By reading his word and by obeying. "By this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments"1 John 2:3.  God's will for us is to listen and obey God; and to those who obey, God has made promises. This is so comforting because God does not break promises.

These are some of the promises God has given to those who obey (love) God:
Prov 1:33 But whoever listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.
Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 10:9 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Matt 11:28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 

It is obvious that I should keep his commandments as a creature to a creator. However, to be able to know him is a greater gift. On top of that, I get the blessings of God's promises? What abundant grace God shows to a sinner like me.

Korea.

It has been 10 days since I have been in Korea. Only 10 days, yet it feels like it's been weeks. I already miss my Lighthouse family and San Diego weather, the feelings of home. I'm home sick. I realized that I have lost touch with people in California and wanted to share somewhere more safe. Here. Also, I started this blog when I was away from San Diego for the sake of accountability and writing down what God is teaching me. Well here it is.

KOREA is hot, stinking hot. Not a day goes by where I am not sweating buckets and my skin is not sticky. The weather's been in the 90s with humidity. What's bad about it is that you have to walk to most places, and some places don't have a/c. Particularly subway stations. You are underground with a crowd of sweaty people, waiting for the subway. Not my favorite place to be, but I ride the subway almost everyday. My base is in Incheon, and getting to Seoul takes about 1 hour on subway, where everything is.  Most of my money has gone to transportation because everything is far and walking outside is death. The streets however are amazing. There are vendors everywhere. Most vendors have the same things, but depending on the city, it's cheaper or more expensive. Most people don't go to malls because it is really expensive and is only for the rich. If anything, people go to outlets, and they are everywhere. Outlets are more for commoners haha, but even then clothes are still pricey. Subway and street vendors are the cheapest, and that is where I like to roam :) 

SPIRITUAL LIFE has been okay. I have encountered many different people who live out their faith differently. Sometimes it is due to immaturity, but some also due to interpretative differences in how they live their life. It's been good, but also makes me miss Lighthouse that much more, to be able to praise God with like minded folks. Miss that. 

Well cannot type any longer for now, but it is a start of something... something that will hopefully last more than a week haha.